Why your answer should be: ’NO!’
Your answer is probably: ’yes of course’, but instead it should be: ’no!’
Let me clarify this a bit.
As a life coach many people like to talk with me. Especially chatting, because that’s a little bit safer, if you know what I mean.
They like the points of view I have, the easiness I talk to them, the open mind that I have.
It makes them feel nice.
And there is nothing wrong with it or with feeling nice. The point I want to make is that these people could talk every day with me for hours. Because I am so nice.
That's why I tend to break up these 'nice' chat conversations and suggest that it's time for a video call.
Most of the time they don’t want it. And it’s not because they are shy or haven’t done their hair or whatever, but it’s because they know that the niceness will probably be over!
They won’t be safe anymore. They will have to step out of their comfort zone.
But if you want to grow, or change, you’ll have to get out of that zone. You’ll have to endure some kind of pain.
It is not my job to keep clients in the ‘nice zone’. There is no learning in the nice zone. There is no change.
Keeping people in the ‘nice zone’ is NOT life coaching. Life coaching is about growth and change. ‘Nice’ conversations won’t let you grow. People need to be pushed once in a while or challenged if you want them to grow or change.
But the bottom line is. They have to want to change.
You can only change when you really want it. That’s often why people fail in changing. They don’t want it bad enough. The situation they are in is not worse enough.
People will only change if their desire to change is bigger than the desire to stay in the same situation.
And yet the only constant in life is change!